Two days into the conference, just getting a little bit of a tan, I received an urgent message call in the middle of the conference. I went out of the meeting and returned the call to my assistant. She was in tears. "Angela, you have to come home. Titus died. He just died. What are we going to do?" She knew the procedure following the death of a resident. She also knew the entire staff from nursing to housekeeping would be devastated by his sudden and untimely death. Titus was a gentle loving soul in his late fifties. A brittle diabetic for years he was dependent on dialysis. Most days he felt good and on days he didn't he faked it. He always tried to be positive and encouraging to other people. He was more of a helper in the facility than a resident. He spent time talking to other residents, especially the new ones. He helped the new ones get adjusted and was the first friend they made in their new surroundings. He loved the nurses too and we loved him. When things would happen at the facility he would be one of the first ones at my door offering to help. I usually put him to work helping in some way he could. He didn't have any family who visited. He had one brother but he never came to see him. It didn't bother Titus. He felt surrounded by family. We were his family.

His death was sudden and unexpected. The night shift nurse went in to wake him and he was dead. He died peacefully in his sleep. Nurses reported he had the most peaceful smile on his face. Titus had a strong faith in God and talked about how wonderful heaven would be. No more finger sticks every four hours, no more dialysis, no more amputations. He looked forward to heaven. He always told me that Jesus was his best friend.

According to procedure my assistant had called the doctor and the physician's assistant. She had done everything she was supposed to do as far as procedure goes, but when day shift arrived everyone was sad. We were all upset. We had lost a member of our family and I was away. Those who are not blessed to work in Long Term Care might think we deal with death on a daily basis. We don't. Long Term Care is just that—long term. It is not a place to go to die; it is a place to go to live. If a resident becomes acutely and seriously ill the doctor usually sends them to the hospital. In this very difficult time my administrator and I were six hundred miles from home. One of our beloved died sudden and unexpected. I recall Titus assuring me, the day I left; he would take care of everything, and then smiled a sweet smile. We considered going home but corporate office felt we should stay. Over the phone I counseled several CNAs and LPNs who were crushed. As sad as we all were by his death, I was so proud of my nurses. I was proud of them because they cared so deeply. They were not afraid to love our residents and through that love, they provided excellent care.

In February we had collected money and bought Titus a brand new suit. Blue pin stripe with a white shirt and a red tie that he picked out. He looked so handsome in his new suit. The smile on his face was radiant. He had been elected King for Valentine's Day. We made a big deal out of it. To Titus it was a big deal. I remember the day he found out that he had won. He said with tears in his eyes, "I've never had such an honor". He looked so handsome in his new suit but he refused to wear it any other time. He said he was saving it for a big date. The staff had his suit cleaned and pressed. One took it to the funeral home for him to be buried in. The activities director took a picture from the Valentines Day Celebration and had it enlarged and framed for the guest book table. His brother took care of the burial expenses. He asked us to make the arrangements. The CNA who had cared for him for fifteen years made the arrangements. Visitation from two o'clock until four o'clock so all shifts could attend. The funeral was set on Sunday at two pm. Staff came from part time pool so most everyone who wanted to go could go. Some of the families came and took their resident, too.

The funeral was held by our Chaplain and the nurses were seated in the family section. His favorite hymns were played, and as they closed the casket one of the CNAs sang, "I Can See Clearly Now". It was all over by the time my administrator and I returned to the facility. The front lobby and the nurse's desk were overflowing with flowers from the funeral. We later had a memorial service at the facility where each one who wanted to say a few words about Titus could do so. We planted a new flower bed in his memory. He always loved planting flowers and watching them grow and bloom. When they became in full bloom he would pick a fresh bouquet for each nurse's desk. The memorial service was something we all needed for closure together. We laughed, we cried and we healed. We had a plaque made and placed on the hall where he had lived for fifteen years. Inscribed in the plaque was his name, date of birth, date of death and the words, “Don't Cry for Me, It's Heaven I See”. Healing had begun. I was somewhat concerned the nurses would be afraid to love again. But, they weren't. It strengthened their bond together. They kept on loving and providing exceptional nursing care every single day.

Through the trial they gained character. They became better nurses. When a new nurse was hired she quickly found out about our Titus and how special he was to us all. He is still remembered with a smile as the nurses continue to love even though they know they may get their hearts broken, the love never fails.

Compassionate nursing and Long Term Care go hand in hand. It doesn't matter if you can start insert a PICC line in 5 seconds flat—if you don't have compassion and the ability to put your heart out there and love your patients, you have missed a very wonderful part of nursing. Compassionate quality nursing care is the most important skill a nurse can have.

©Angela Posey-Arnold RN BSN 2008 Author of The Nightingale Protocol/ A Handbook of Hope for Nurses Gracenotes1@bellsouth.net www.angelaposeyarnold.com

About the Author 

Angela Posey-Arnold is a published Christian Author and retired RN. In addition to an array of writing projects she owns the web site www.angelaposeyarnold.com featurinh her writing and her new book, The Nightingale Protocol.

Angela lives with her husband of 20 years in beautiful Northwest Alabama on 12 acres of woods adjacent to the Bankhead National Forest and the Tennessee River. Her log home is set in the middle of those 12 acres. Her writing and music studio, Pebble East Studios, is located in the loft of the log home.-The peace and serenity of her surroundings are conducive to the pursuit of her passions, Christian writing and music.

She has been playing the piano since the age of 8 and currently is the resident pianist at Courtland Baptist Church, in historic Courtland Alabama.

She is widely published with 2 Christian Non-fiction Books, many short stories and Christian articles, devotionals and poetry.

Her work is also being published in an anthology and other collections. She is a regular contributing writer for the popular e-zine, www.4Him2U.com.

Visit her web site at www.angelaposeyarnold.com, her blog at www.shoutlife.com/angelaposeyarnold or her personal news network at www.nightingale.pnn.com.

Author of the newly released book for nurses and caregivers, THE NIGHTINGALE PROTOCOL, is available at her personal online bookstore www.authorsden.com/angelaposeyarnold, and other major online book retailers and local bookstores in her area.

Her first book, The Lions and the Adders by Anna Grace Poschetï was self published and is available on Amazon.