NOTHING TO EXCESS

Keep your book simple. Make it spare and lean. Resist that urge to modify and enhance. Thou shalt not wax poetic. You already know you're brilliant. Don't clown around with it. Let's not make this a three ring circus all about you.

Step away from the thesaurus slowly! Do it Now!

It's not about you, it's about the story. Don't bother or distract the reader with your poetic genius, they're looking for a good time, not ponies and dogs, or a library lecture.

Give the reader credit for intelligence. Don't teach. Don't explain every little detail of what's happening in the story, let them figure it out. They want to be a part of the action. Draw them into it by letting them participate.

Take out the boring parts of your book. Eliminate your favorite parts if need be. Lea! k the details a bit at a time. Don't do an information dump in one big glom. Don't tell everything about your characters all at once. Bring it in gradually by events, by how the characters behave, what they say, what they do. Tell and show, but mostly show it.

Build interest and suspense in the book by holding back. It's like a a date. A little dinner, some Thunderbird and gin, a little music, and then----Whammo. The Reveal.

Romance your reader. Manipulate the reader. They will become part of the book with you. That's the goal. Involve the reader in the story.

Keep your book's vision true, present how it would be in reality, not the way you've seen it on TV or in the movies---already been over-done. The truth of the thing is the Spine of the Structure. The truth will carry the action forward, it will get the next page turned.

Most movie and TV plots and dialogue are moronic, dumbed down, written by Hollywood types who know nothing about your reality---the real world, Neo. Don't get pulled in to some! one else's reality, be original--tell your own truth.

Every single thing you write in the book must advance the plot. No wasted inclusions. If you take off on a tangent about Corvettes, or ice cream, or shoes, it better figure into the plot. Nobody wants to hear what you like, unless it figures seamlessly into the world you're creating. Everything you put on the paper has to be there for a specific reason beneficial to what you are trying to show. If it doesn't help, take it out. The reader is here for the ride, not for you.

When you're out in the real world, or on the phone, or watching a 911 call, listen to real dialogue. Focus your investigative attention on what people are really saying, what they worry about, and then reproduce it--keep it real.

For instance, as on the teevee every fifteen minutes, Do people really say this:

     "Hey......are you OK?"

Or do they say, "What the hell's wrong with! you now?" or something equally slobovian and un-neato?

Obs erve real life, gestures, movement, mannerisms. Be a detective in the sense that you automatically catalog what people look like, do, say, how they behave. Use these moves as props in your writing to show how the character behaves.

Draw your book's characters from life, like I do in my book Black Road 2012. Each character should speak and move their own way, have different attitudes and viewpoints. It's not hard to do. After a while you'll know the character and what they are like, what they'd say and do, how they'd behave in any situation.

Create the rules of your universe and then just follow them. Everyone knows that the characters soon take over the story and write themselves. Then...they're taking your stuff...the dog, your chocolate. They make those credit card purchases you can't account for...

       The Hook

The book Opening: it's important to capture the reader at the outset! . Have a "hook" at the beginning, of the story. Also, at the beginning of each new sequence or chapter, something to make the reader read it. A hook is something interesting. Maybe it builds suspense:

    "He was about to experience something that would change his life."

Maybe it's interesting:

    "She/he let a strap slide down, tilted back, and smiled."

Also, Hook the reader at the at the end of each section:

    "How will he escape from the closet full of rabid badgers and cats?"

Make every single sentence of the book interesting and plot-organic, or get rid of it. Take it away. Kill it.

Kill, kill, kill.

The best thing you can do for a story that's written is cut it. Chop, slash, eliminate. If a scene or sentence or paragraph isn't working--kill it and start over. You will be amazed at how much you can improve your writing product by editi! ng out the boring parts.

How do you build suspense and mome ntum in your book? Build the reader's interest? Raise the stakes. Constantly raise the stakes, the price that your character will have to pay for failure.

Instead of, "He decides to find Lil' Bang," say something more in conflict like:

    "He decides to find Lil' Bang, before it's too late, glances at the clock."

See? Something bad will happen unless he finds Lil' bang fast. Tension, suspense, action, movement. Raise the stakes. Watch.

    "He dressed and shrugged into his shoulder holster, snapped it down tight to his belt."

    Or:

    He dressed fast. He picked up the big .45 and made sure there was a round in the chamber. He shrugged into the shoulder holster, snapped it down tight to his belt, rolled his shoulders into a good fit.

    "Aw, gee, Johnny, don't go out there," Velda said.

     He just looked at her, didn't say anything.

    "Stay with me, Johnny. Please, Johnny! Aw, gee, Johnny!"

    He turned to her. "It ain't about you and me, sweetheart. I got something to do. When a man's accountant is killed, he's supposed to do something."

    He smiled. He edged into the dark hallway, eyes like quartz.

    "Aw, gee, Johnny! Don't go out there, Johnny!"

OK, no book award there, I know. But, there has to be conflict, tension. A relentless ticking clock that counts down to zero-time. Put the characters under pressure. What do they want? What does your character want? Raise the stakes. Have the character try to get what s/he wants.

Have you seen this phrase, "Make them want something; throw rocks at them."

No, no, no---that's too simplistic. Put them in the most dire situations you can think of. They're being cha! sed, shot at, sued, divorced, fired, cursed, going bankrupt, dying, in danger of dying, etc---but make it constant, ongoing, and permanently prominent, implied, or in the coloring of your words.

Is s/he after a thing? A strange, ancient geared mechanism stolen from a museum? A cup found under the Temple Of Solomon by the Last Knight Templar? Or is it a goal? Success, love, redemption, resurrection, death, birth, life, infinity? What. What does s/he want or need? In the biz it's called The McGuffin---the It---the thing they seek.

There has to be tension and conflict in your book. There has to be an obstacle or obstacles in the way of the Seeker. there must be someone or something there to constantly thwart the character from getting what s/he wants. This raises the stakes. The character must overcome the blocked path.

But there's Showing and then there's Telling. Don't "tell me" something you want me to know. Wherever possible, "show me." Don't do an essay (information dump) when you can show the reader by actio! ns or dialogue what your point is. Never tell--always show. Like this.

    "He was the kind of person who didn't like to be made fun of or belittled. He was very violent. he came from the streets. He was very unsure of himself. He was potentially a very dangerous man and he had a hair trigger temper."

    Or:

    Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.

    Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?

    Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.

    [laughs]

    Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?

    Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

    Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny a bout it?

    (Tommy pulls a gun.)

    Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.

    Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?

    Henry Hill: Jus...

    Tommy DeVito: What?

    Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.

    Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f *cked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f *ckin amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

    Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?

    Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the f *ck am I funny, what the f *ck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!

    Goodfellas, 1990

See?

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